My Heart Stopper

My Heart Stopper



I am a former U.S. Armed Forces Service Member and I remember a time when I was at home on leave after returning from a long tour in Iraq and Afghanistan where I saw things that most of you can’t even begin to stomach. While I was at home and sitting at my parents kitchen table, I was making myself depressed thinking about the war, what I had seen and my ex. What specific significance does my ex have to me in relation to the war you might ask. Well… My ex left me right before Valentines day while I was fighting the war, as have many service member’s significant others have done. My father was sitting just across from me in the living room watching television and giving me some space to think and “air out” my thoughts. He stayed close to me though for support in case I needed it. I decided to go out for a drive and see what was out there in the town that I had left behind to protect on the front lines. What had changed, what was still the same, how my old friends were doing and what they were doing. I then immediately thought about a person of the opposite sex that had done so much for me. Now at this time I was so fed up with the opposite sex because of what my ex did, but this member of the opposite sex was the only one (besides the ones in my family) that I trusted. So I decided to go see them and find out what they had been up to and for that strong comfort that we always had together. When they answered the door, it was like something had erased my brain of all the pain that I was feeling. We greeted of course and I asked them about what was going on them all these days. They told me that they had just left the military and they had been thinking about me for long time since the last time they saw me. They asked me how was things with me and my significant other these days. Was I married to them yet, how many kids do we have by now, why haven’t we called, questions I would expect them to ask. I explained to them what had happened and of course they were shocked. We talked off and on about relationships and finding the right person. I then realized that I was standing right in front of the only person from the opposite sex that I trust. Duh, I thought to myself, here is the one person that I should’ve been with the whole time. I stopped and thought to myself, what qualities does this person have that makes us a great match. I know she is a very caring person, a kind hearted person, so on and so forth. Not that those things weren’t important to me but that’s always the first thing and the most obvious thing. I wanted to really focus on the really important difficult to find or realize yet simple things like a heart giver and not a heart breaker, a passion for pleasing others no what. Letting the world know they are in love with the significant other of their dreams and it be true. Someone who can be themselves around me, someone who can be different than me yet very much alike and accept that about me and not judge or shy away from me or some of my decisions even if it is not what or how they would do it. Someone who is sensual about love in general, naturally sexy in the right ways and when it counts (and not even be trying, nor know that they are doing it), willing to teach as much as learn, an open mind, wild and spontaneous yet calm and a sophisticated thinker. Someone who will fight anyone that stands in their way of working hard to make their dreams a reality. Someone with a backbone. Someone that never backs down. Someone that supports me when I need it. Someone that isn’t afraid to try new things. Those are the qualities they have. They also have the pretty ears to listen to my boring jokes and hair brain schemes, as well as my problems, downfalls and screw-ups. They have a cute nose that knows the scent of good cooking so that they are able to be the greatest chef I have ever known. The beautiful eyes they use to gaze into mine and try so hard to see what is in my heart, mind body and soul. To see the things that are inside me despite what is obviously visible on the outside. The gorgeous lips they use to produce the level of passion that is a just a little over what I can handle, so that it sends me into a sugar shock (because a nick name for kisses is sugar). The most amazing skin that makes it hard to not lie around spooning all day. Once I realized these things (in the few seconds it took me, though it felt like forever) I knew that they were the one that I needed to be with. I know it seems like a rebound and a rebound with my ex ‘s ex-friend but if you think about it, one, if two people can have such an emotional connection that produces so much passionate love between them during what is considered one of the most difficult times in anybodies life anytime then that means something about those two people. Two, let’s forget the “rules of relationships” for a second here and think about what if love made the world go round and was a world that was unbalanced if someone was not in a caring and loving relationship. Now think about a time when you broke up with someone. What if you had to find someone to replace you in the relationship? Would you spend a lifetime scouring the city in search for what you think is the perfect person to be with your ex. Now think about what your friends are like. Usually they are like you. So what better person for them to be with than your friend. I know it sounds weird and it is not always the best way to go because it causes more drama but certain situations I believe warrants it, like the death of you or if you and your friend become ex’s, etc. Now, knowing these things, to us it made the old rules obsolete. We didn’t care, we felt something and decided to make something of it. We married and have been for the past five years and will be celebrating our sixth one in this year of 2009. We have been together and have been through a lot of drama with each other and both of our families. Many have tried to break us up, ex’s have come back into our lives and tried to reestablished themselves and they all have failed. I LOVE my spouse, even though we have been through a lot together. I was not always honest, I was not always about them, I made some human errors because I was young and immature and didn’t know what I wanted when I thought I did. That mentality caused me to miss what was in front of me and now I am older and wiser. My spouse and I have both done wrong things and though I am not blaming my spouse nor am I excusing my stupid mistakes I am not living in the past nor forgetting it either. I am dedicating my life and love to my spouse and showing them just how much they mean to me. How passionately care about them. We made some necessary changes in our lives and are making sure that we both have our independence established and are in control of our own lives and careers with the loving support the other, no matter what. Even though we are married we also dating (exclusively of course) each other and recapturing what we lost and discovering what we gave up by marrying so young and having children. We do things as if we just met and that gives us the opportunity to do things that we never did and wow each other all over again with captivating surprises, gifts and just spending time focusing on one another. This is not something that we will do just to make things right again, but to keep us informed, alive and the spark pulsating from one to the other and through our veins electrifying each other forever. For this my spouse is my heart stopper and my spouse will always know I LOVE them and exactly just how much I LOVE them. There is no one set moral in this, you figure it out what it means to you.


The truth B told,
B